Lists really are a magical thing

We’re officially one week out with a re-vamped menu and everything’s coming up ROSES!!

That planning brain of mine is really working for me. My partner’s cousin after reading my last blog post suggested that we do a taco bar for the wedding– and I am taking that idea and RUNNING WITH IT. One thing I observed about myself today is that I like having puzzles to solve. Another (that I’ve known for a very long time) is that I am extremely motivated by deadlines. (Not unlike most other human beings).

Getting down to the wire– these days are packed full. Here’s the run-down of my wedding-related accomplishments on this day just seven days and counting:

Woke up and realized my body needed to take a Pilates class.
RE-REinvented the wedding menu after a great suggestion from a soon-to-be family member.
Listened to my body and TOOK CARE OF MYSELF (i.e. went to Pilates). [SLOW CLAP]
Came home and took my maid of honor to get her dress altered.
Somehow convinced my partner without any threats or coercion to go with me to his most favorite place on a Saturday, Costco.
Bought and priced wedding related items and inched ever closer to feeling totally on top of it in terms of this wedding. (Lists really are a magical thing).
Took more steps towards KEEPING IT SIMPLE. (So hard for me to do)…
Met with one of my dear friends to strategize the next week as it relates to our nuptials, and gave her 10 lbs of chicken to cook for me. (talk about some delegating)
Realized that I’ve actually got it together so much more than I knew when this day began and all I was aware of was my back hurting.
Had a very important meeting with my flower girl and tasked her with finding the perfect basket for her flower petals. (She’s already got one in mind).
Decided, along with said flower girl, what type of flower petals that basket of hers was going to have. (cherry blossoms)
Went out on a date with my man.
Ordered serving trays and cupcake storage containers that will make me very popular in certain (as of yet undefined) circles.
Got one day closer to marrying my most favorite person on the planet.

That about says it all. My exhaustion is real and my planning brain is currently not interfacing well with my writing brain– and my dreaming brain is doing its best to take over for the both of them…

Makes me wanna marry him or something…

It’s 11 days to go now– and it’s all I can do to string a sentence together. Seriously. I woke up feeling like a zombie this morning. I ignored my instincts and got out of bed and went to teach my 6:15 am class. I stumbled my way through teaching and back home into bed, setting my alarm for an hour before my next client at 10 am. When the alarm rang at 9 am I felt like my entire body was full of tar. Moving felt like a feat. I got up to go to the bathroom, my head hanging forward as I sat down to pee, and I realized that the idea of me being effective at helping anyone within the next two hours was ludicrous.

I crawled back into bed and texted my 10 and 11 am clients apologetically. This whole “putting yourself first” thing is extremely challenging for me. It makes me feel guilty and like I’m letting someone down, which is accurate. But, if I were not to put myself first, I’d be letting myself down. And that’s exactly what I preach against. So, taking my own medicine I went back to sleep for two more hours. By the time it was noon I felt a massive weight had lifted and I was able to do my two hour 12:30 energetic mentoring session on the phone with a client on the East Coast.

I managed to grocery shop before heading back to work at 4:30– this felt like a cosmic accomplishment. Back at work, I saw a client and then taught my two evening classes. My sweet partner (who is currently cleaning the kitchen) had dinner ready for me when I got home, makes me wanna marry him or something. We ate together and then I collapsed into an epsom salt bath with an assortment of essential oils added for awesomeness.

I guess the moral of my story here is: I’m EXHAUSTED. I couldn’t even say exactly why, but today felt like the opposite of the gloriousness that was yesterday. There’s always a yin to balance out the yang. Yesterday’s singing sunshine gave way to rain today– and the rain gave me permission to settle into myself and rest and recuperate. Today I took care of myself– and while there’s something in me that hates to acknowledge the necessity of that– the much wiser part of me is really proud of myself. I am not super human. I’m just a regular human and sometimes I need to take a break.

There’s an immense amount of work to be done– and a deadline looming, but here’s what I know: It’s going to get done. I can say that with absolute certainty. 11 days from now I will be married. And regardless of all of the steps I take from now until then it’s going to happen and it will be absolutely perfect– because that’s the only thing that it possibly could be.